Sometimes when you get a divorce, friends often feel they have to pick sides. It can be surprising to see how many friends go away. While you probably do have friends that are still around, it is a good idea to make friends with people who didn’t know you when you were married. Here are some places and ways you can go about meeting new people.

Online Divorce Support Groups

There are many messages boards and gathering places online that are solely for the divorced. Joining one of these places is a great way to chit-chat with others who are going through (or have gone through) a divorce. Not only can you make new friends, these types of groups are a great place to vent about your ex with people who do not know them.

Friendship Sites

The last thing a newly divorced individual probably wants to do is get back into the dating scene. However, you may still enjoy the company of talking with people of the opposite sex. There are friendship sites on the internet (like Just Epals) that you can join where people of all backgrounds congregate. Because these sites cater only to platonic friendships, you don’t have to worry that the people you are becoming friends with have joined the site for ulterior motives—such as seeking dates or hookups.

Get Out of the House

There is no way you are going to make new friendships in your area if you stay secluded away while you lick your emotional wounds. Take your dog for a walk in the park, go to a movie, walk around at a free museum, sit in on a poetry reading at a local coffee shop, accept invitations from your relatives to events that will help you come in contact with new people, etc. Get out of the house and be friendly. If you do, new friendships will come.

Local Groups and Clubs

Whether it is a divorce group, a mommy-and-me play group, a book club, or a church group, these types of local groups and clubs and others like them are great places to meet new people and make new friends. Join a group that is of interest to you and attend regularly. Be open and friendly and you are sure to make new friends.

Take a Class

Even if you have your degree, consider taking some type of class. The class may be hobby related, or it can be something that will help you in your profession. Classes are ripe for friendships and will often have off-site activities such as conferences, field trips, and more that will give you extra time to forge relationships with your classmates.

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If your boss is someone you like and you feel that he would be open to establishing a friendship outside of work, it is perfectly fine to pursue a friendship. However, because he is your boss, it can be delicate. If you don’t approach it in the right way it may come across that you are trying to pursue a friendship simply to climb the career ladder at work. Here are some tips that will let your boss know that you are interested in him as a person and not just someone who holds the keys at work.

Make Small Talk

If the style of your workplace allows for casual conversation, more than likely your boss will participate. Listen to what he says and use it as a way to build dialogue. For instance, if he was chit-chatting with you and your co-workers about something that he was planning to do over the weekend, stop by his office on Monday morning and ask how things went for him. Taking the initiative to ask him about things outside of a ‘group’ setting will alert him to the fact that you are interested in his life outside of work.

Avoid being a ‘Yes Man’

Work places are full of people who give their bosses generic, positive answers to everything. Show your boss that you are an individual. Try to be up-beat and positive about things, but do share tidbits of things that will personalize you to your boss and pique his interest.

For instance, if he asks you how things are coming on a project, saying something such as “I’m a little slow getting started this morning; I was up reading such-and-such so I’m a bit tired. But, everything is good and will be turned in on time.”

Giving your boss personal information about you in this manner will open the door to more personalized communication.

Extend Invitations

Believe it or not, bosses are human and many of them are lonely for friendships, too. If you are going to lunch with co-workers or alone, ask your boss if he would like to join you. If he declines, ask him if he would like you to bring him something back to eat.

In addition to these types of work-hour invitations, if you are hosting a party or event outside of work and you believe it is something your boss would enjoy, extend an invitation to him. Many times interacting outside of work is the only thing that is needed to build a friendship. Why? He knows the invitation isn’t obligatory such as going to lunch while at work. By receiving an invitation to an event outside of work, your boss will realize that you are genuine about wanting a friendship with him.

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